Often enough, we use the word don’t and do not in our writing.  They’re real words, they convey clear meaning, I’ve got nothing against them.

Yet, often enough, your reader will skip over the “not” part, and think you’re saying “do.”  Here are some tips to help you say No and be sure your reader hears you.

Vocabulary choice

Replace don’t with a precise and unambiguous word. Here are just a few excellent candidates for the job of saying No: Avoid, ban, block, delete, exclude, forbid, hinder, obstruct, omit, prevent, prohibit, reject and stop.

Avoid submerging your toaster in water.    is clearer than    Do not submerge your toaster in water.

I forbid anyone to play with my alligator.a is clearer than a I do not want anyone to play with my alligator.

List Organization

If poorly organized, even quality content can be misunderstood. Notice how this list shifts back and forth:

• Don’t go beyond two pages with your resume.
• Do consider a resume design that doesn’t look like everyone else’s.
• Don’t ever lie on your resume.
• Don’t use personal pronouns (I, my, me) in a resume.
• Do include as much contact information as possible.
• Do give your resume as sharp a focus as possible.

Let’s reorganize that list to make it less choppy. One way would be re-order the points to put the three Do’s first, followed by the four Don’t. Another way is to leave their order as-is, but change the vocabulary to be crystal clear:

• Keep your resume to only two pages.
• Consider a resume design that doesn’t look like everyone else’s.
• Never lie on your resume.
• Limit use of personal pronouns (”Achieved sales goal of…” rather than “I achieved my sales goal of…”).
• Include as much contact information as possible.
• Give your resume as sharp a focus as possible.

“Please”? No thank you.

When you’re giving a direction or instruction, avoid adding please. Please implies choice, which turns an instruction into a request. If you don’t want someone else to say “No,” leave out the please.

Enter your password.

I need your time sheets by 3:00m Friday.

Turn off your cell phones before the movie starts.

None of these instructions is impolite. Such simple written statements have no tone of voice to sound bossy or snarky. And what, really, are your options but to comply?

Out loud, “Please” can soften orders, so when speaking to a specific person, or group, use the Magic Words to help maintain, at the least, a civil working relationship. In speech, tone of voice provides the clues about the speaker’s sincerity and the listener’s wealth or dearth of options.