Last week I discussed how to get testimonials.  Now let’s look at how to decline giving them.

The first rule of getting testimonials is: Ask for them from people who have already complimented you. They’ve complimented you in print—in an email or letter or a reference posted on a networking site such as LinkedIn—or they’ve complimented you aloud, during a phone call or face-to-face.

But now Joe, whom you’ve never complimented, asks you to write a testimonial for his business.

The first rule for giving testimonials:  Because you’re putting your reputation on the line when you endorse someone else, decline rather than give a testimonial you aren’t pleased to give.

How do you decline? Politely. You don’t want to damage a cordial business relationship. And (I hope) you don’t want to hurt feelings either.  So here are some options:

Flat-out say No. This is both the simplest course and the most difficult.

• If you have no experience with Joe’s business or product, you can say, “I’m sure you’re running an excellent business, but since I haven’t used your product, I can’t tell your target audience anything relevant to their needs.”  That was easy.

• If you have unpleasant experience with Joe or his work, you can (once you get over your surprise that he asked), tell him  “Because of the trouble we had with the <fill in the blank>  (timing/ final billing/ product quality/ training snafus),  I haven’t anything to say right now.”  Not so easy. Feelings can get hurt.  So be specific, be firm and be brief.

• You can also say No, but not flat-out.  Say you need to think it over. That drops the hint so the person isn’t too surprised when you get back in touch and say No.

Write the testimonial yourself. You can say exactly what you want, keep a clear conscience, and avoid the tricky areas.  Write two heartfelt sentences about what a creative guy Joe is, but not mention that he never completes work on time.  Beware, though, of the pitfalls on this path:

• Your name is going on this testimonial.  People reading it will hold you to your word.  Don’t make nice for the sake of peaceful relations with Joe: Providing a testimonial for an incompetent or unethical business will impact your good name and business reputation.
• Joe might suggest changes to your text. You said capable, he edits that to wonderful.  You have to either allow wonderful to stand—even thought you think it’s stretching the truth—or you have to edit it right back to capable.  Questions get asked; truths must be revealed (or skipped around, if that’s your MO).

Offer to be a reference rather than give a testimonial. This is a great option if you want to “recommend with reservations.”  Tell Joe you’d be happy to speak to potential customers about the pros and cons of Joe’s work.  For instance, if you can say “High quality product, Joe’s creative and easy to work with but always behind schedule” that’s useful information to all potential customers and, for many, not a deal-breaker.  In fact, it’s easier to believe an assessment is honest when it contains both the good and the bad.

Endorse good businesses. Give honest testimonials. Know when to say No.